How It Is and How It Should Be...

My dog In the creek

A place where we didn't eat
I think I want to go into advertising
But they are just so happy,

How could I use these images for profit?
I'm hairier than I used to be ...
Booky The Wise
Parky The Piss Tank
How it should be ...
Both, how it should be ... and how it is.
Congratulations my good friends

Funny

I have been surfing youtube all for a while, it started with the Colbert Report and ended up here. These are as funny as a fit.

Post Anniversary Celebration

Here we are travelling around Goje as per our anniversary celebrations. 2 people, a dog and a magna. It was grouse! Booky loved the ferry. Actually he didn't love the ferry so much as the massive amount of wind rushing up his arse when he stood in a particular direction. He loved that. We are thinking of re-naming him "Tunnel".
People look at us wierd when we travel by motorcycle with a dog. They remark that "how strange" or "the dog cannot be enjoying that" or "that's cruel". If they own (or have ever owned) a dog, there is a fairly good likelyhood that they are the same Koreans who keep their small dogs locked in an apartment all day, or their big dogs on a 2 foot leash tied to the kennel. They are probably not the owners of dogs who have taken to sleeping on the "Booky Sack". There is not a snowflakes chance in hell that either Parky or I are ever leaving the house with the bag, without the dog. He's had 4 days in the bag now, he's made the connection, he seems to have made his own decision.

Booky and Parky at the start of the trip.


Parky and Booky during the trip.

Parky and Booky after the trip.

The town we want to buy land in.

A series of pictures that I probably find much funnier than you. But if I didn't find blogging funny, I wouldn't do it.

April Ride and Anniversary

I'm too lazy to write at the moment. Will write soon. In the meantime here are some photies. Check out the two new links on the right.

Parky and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary yesterday. It feels nice. Nobody ever said it wouldn't happen, at least not within earshot. Gets me to thinking, every birthday everyone says you don't look a day older than you did 5 or 10 years back. But we do. And we feel older too. Every anniversary I feel (not younger) but rejuvenated. Why do you suppose the passing of a year with one title makes us feel like crap, but given another title it makes us feel grouse? I have my own ideas on the matter, what are yours ...

New Rubber

I have new rubber. I'm very pleased with it. I have gone with an Avon Venom 170/80/15. I spent about 6 days researching tyres, until Parky and I had an afternoon kip (as we are wont to do) and I spent 90 minutes dreaming about tyres. I awoke feeling not the slightest refreshed and decided it was time to make a decision and get it over with. I must say that it was an all consuming task. I have now had 5 different tyres on this bike and 3 have been abject failures, one was okay and now I have one that is byooooootiful. Each of the rear tyres have led to fishtails away from traffic lights in rainy weather and underpant-change-necessitating rear wheel drift when wending ones way downhill, on dry road, through the twisties (even up to a week after the last rain) and encountering a stream of runoff. This has lead to rear wheel drift through the runoff and semi-religious instances of near hi-side on a 538 pound machine on a 12% decline.

For the clan of 'motorcycle-jargon-differently-abled-persons' (of which i am, for the most part, a member) a high-side consists of sliding (usually around a bend) in a rear wheel drift over a patch of something unexpectedly slippery (in a straight line, or due to excessive speed on the entrance to a bend) with the result of your two wheels becoming rather more perpendicular to the direction in which you are travelling you would like.

This does not yet constitute a 'high-side'. One has only now begun the 'pant wetting' or given previous experience at high-siding the 'pant filling' portion of the 'high-side' experience.

Allow me to recap. You are wending your way down a mountainside on dry road. Given that it is Korea, the upcoming corner might be anywhere betwixt a 90 and a 180 degree curve. All of a sudden you encounter runoff from a long distant shower which is still making its way out of the granite. Your front tyre makes it smoothly though the curve, but your rear is in danger of overtaking it. The feeling is kinda funky before the clincher; your rear wheel regaining grip.

We have all seen the video footage of people taking a stack a 100 miles an hour, bike slips out from underneath, person (with full protective gear) slides 100 metres before getting up and walking away seemingly unencumbered by the goings on. This person was a) sliding and b) didn't get much air~time.

A high-side is what happens next, your rear wheel regains grip but the angle of your dangle means that there is no way in hell your bike is going to right itself. Physics dictates that the path of least resistance is flopping your clockwise (for example) travelling bike onto the left side of the tank. Remember that you are not travelling very quickly because of the sharp curve of the corner that you have entered. The rider is shot, like from a shanghai, directly into the air, with almost no forward propulsion. The rider rises, balletic, into the air and proceeds to fall (at 90 degrees to the ground) and lands with an almighty thud, shattering whichever bone happens to hit the ground first.

The high-side happens to people who are inexperienced, overly eager, and who skimp on their tyre spending. This is the only way i can explain spending $300 (Australian) on a rear tyre. But if you have ever experienced a high-side, you will agree that it is money well spent.

New Website

The motorcycle page of the new website is up and running.

www.wombatcorea.com

have a gander ...

Happy Saint Patty's

What the heck is up with this weather? What the heck is up with March? I love the weather in Korea 9 months a year, July is a bit damp, January is a touch cool, but what the heck is up with March? I’ll tell you what; Mother Nature takes LSD in March, I have proof. Here it is:
1) March 2005, 60cm of snow in a single day.
2) March 2006, rode my motorcycle from Gangneung to Gimhae (8 hours) in relative comfort.
3) March 2007, look out the window.

We have had 15º, 5º and everything in between. Wind storms, bright sunshine, 5 straight days of overcast. Don’t give me shit about looking at www.weather.com, www.wunderground.com, www.kweather.co.kr, the weather channel, yahoo weather, CNN weather or any of that crap because they could not predict the end colour of a ripening orange. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore, apart from to say “Try organising a motorcycle tour when you can’t predict what the weather is doing 10 minutes from now, let alone on the weekend.”

It is an unmitigated disaster. Everyone is crook. It is bucketing down in Busan, raining in Jangyu and overcast but otherwise fine in Gimhae (7 kilometres away as the crow flies).

Anyway, Bill and I went for a ride to Dadaepo today. It was quite nice. We saw a new suburb under construction, a FERKING BIG mollusc farm, a very lonely, very odd and very big new house, an ostrich and a great big arsed beach that I didn’t even know existed.

I realise this blog is lacking a central theme just as was the collection of items that took our interest today. In an effort to keep with the theme of not having one, here is a photo of our dog in one of a thousand unusual sleeping positions he employs, usually but not always, on our pimped out couch and a wacky pair of signs.

It’s been another good couple of weeks here in sunny South Korea. Parky and I went to Sancheong last weekend, up near the Jiri Mountain range. We saw some sweet land up there and may have even changed our prospective address of our prospective farm, which is years down the track but nonetheless something we are dead set on. We had always thought that Goje (on the sea) would be our residence of choice, but Sancheong (on 2 rivers and a few big lakes) look very nice and less cluttered. Sancheong is quite pretty, it has good water (even in winter), it is much more sparsely populated and hence more to my liking. Parky also found a hog she likes and wants one for herself.

I started work for Parky last week and am loving it. I am trying to find a way to make 4 hours per day, 4 days a week for a full wage sound funny, but it just beggars belief anyway you put it, so I will just leave it at that.

We became card carrying Costco members today. Costco rocks! So much crap that I haven’t ever been able to find here in Korea for 4 years, all there in one store. We got:
1) 16 tins of crushed tomatoes.
2) Asahi beer (half the price of normal)
3) Aussie beef. (less than $40 a kilo)
4) Affordable chicken breast fillets
5) Chicken stock (8 litres)
6) Dill
7) Thai sweet chilli sauce
8) Great coffee ($13 a kilo)
9) Tortillas
10) Lasagne
11) Avocado
12) Asparagus
13) Spanish salad onion
14) Coriander
15) Fajita seasoning
16) Tortellini
17) Ravioli
18) Camembert
19) Blue vein cheese
20) Salami (3 kinds)
21) Ementaler cheese
22) Tortillas
23) Croissants
24) AND … SOUR CREAM!!!!!!!!!

Not being readily available in South Korea, it was as pricey as you might think it would be and a little more. I you want to work out how much we spent in Costco today, Aus$1=750won.

1-3-07

Parky and I have been riding all day with yet another group of guys and gals. It was a cracking ride up to the ancient Shilla capital of Gyeongju. Highway up and mountain roads back. We have met some really interesting dudes in the last week.

On Sunday we went cruising with some old Korean guys, mostly riding gold wing Hondas. That was a fantastic day. We just cornered some old dude in a bike shop and he invited us riding with his club. They have an average of about 50 people out twice a month. The youngest is 40 and the second is 45. There was one dude at the clubhouse wearing the colours, he didn’t come with us, but he must have been 85 if he was a day. What a fantastic group of lads. I’m sure I’ve already said that but it was just so true. I was treated so normally. Nothing special about being a foreigner, about being half the average age of the guys, just one of the guys. As a weiguk one is rarely treated like that in korea. It was so refreshing. I had no intention to ride with the crew often, but now I’m not so sure. I had one of the better days riding I’ve had in this country, and that is a big statement in a land where everyday is motorcycle heaven. What’s more, those old farts can ride. Those old farts might drive cars like my grannie on crystal meth, but they could throw those fat arsed gold wings around like they were postie bikes. What a spin out, eh!


Today’s ride was a freaker too. Met some new weiguk dudes who are well into the bike scene here. You will notice the custom job in the photies. It’s an original custom job, in the truest sense of the word. Louie (the owner) is some kind of freaky engineer here in Yangsan and imported the bits and pieces as he saw fit. Built the entire thing from the ground up just for kicks. Better to look at than to wend around the twisties here in the Land of the Morning Calm (no disrespect intended), but what a fucking monster of a machine!

Kudos to Trey, who has purchased himself a schmick 1100cc virago and made it out today as well, hope to see much more of that in the coming year. And great to finally meet Paul, with whom I’ve been conversing on the phone for the last 9 months and failed to catch up with. Great to see everyone again after a short winter’s break. Be ready in 10 days for Wombat season to begin again in earnest.

Last Day of School

Not much to say really. School is over. I have 2 weeks off and then I start work for Parky. Looking forward to it. Sick to death of computers and I am going to sign off now.

01-01-07

January 1st 2007

Christmas has come and gone. New Year with it too. Parky and I have been just too busy to scratch ourselves and the camp is now only 7 days away. Our first ever joint commercial enterprise, it seems that everything is now in order and we hope it to be a resounding success. And although it is past the point of even wishing it to be a financial windfall, it has been an experience and we are determined to do it again in 2008, better armed and better prepared.

We had a wonderful new year’s eve at Magna Sean’s house. With him and his lovely wife Woo-jeong and a selection of about 20 of his best mates. They made us feel welcome with their warmth, at ease with their joviality (and eggnog) and also mightily jealous of their super-fine ocean view equipped pad.

(Parky has just interrupted me by singing her favourite song (to our puppy, as she is often wont to do) and subcontiously transposing the regular words with the words “Booky (our dog) looks delicious”. That was funny, she was singing in Corean and quickly shot me a glance to see if I had heard. When she registered that I had heard and understood, the “don’t say a f**king word” look she gave me was enough to crack us both up for a while.

After all, this wasn’t the first piece of wisdom imparted to me today from my lovely wife. After staying up to see the sun rise at Sean and Woo-jeong’s new apartment we were both rather tired. (We discovered today that their apartment does not, in fact, face east but rather north east and due to that we were awake well into the day waiting to see the sun, but did not even catch a glimpse before collapsing).

We slept a few hours before waking up and wending our way through a McDonalds drive through and moving on home. Parky used the opportunity to catch up on some zeds while I drove back to Jangyu. I am not used to seeing Parky sleeping because of my punishing work schedule, ability to sleep through pretty much anything and love of red wine. But during her slumber she did quite a few cute things which I had almost forgotten she does, having been so long since I was awake while she slept. She reminded me today that I am not the only one who talks in their sleep. We were driving through Mandeok Tunnel when she woke with a start and said/dribbled “Wow! Pink Boats!” I casually informed her that there weren’t and still aren’t pink boats in Mandeok Tunnel and were unlikely to be in the future which brought forth the retort that I am “not taking her observations sincereioulsy”.

After all was done and dusted and we were entering Jangyu she was still asleep when my mobile telephone rang. Parky reached over and grabbed my cigarette lighter, put it to her ear and yelled “Hello!” It was nothing less than hilarious, even more so when she woke up with a cigarette lighter to her ear.

Parky and I have had a wonderful first day of the New Year which I truly believe is going to be the best on record. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve just had this feeling all day that this is where and when it all starts. I’m feeling enthusiastic, happy, awake, alive, entrepreneurial and eager. Just a feeling, but nonetheless a nice one.

Happy New Year Each And Every One Of You!!!!!!!

Ice Breakers

Ride of the year (in its own special way)

Yesterday was the scene of many happenings Gyeongsangnamdo ‘wards. It was bollocking cold (+3°) and raining when Rick rang me at 6:42am discussing whether the inaugural Ice Breaker’s Run should go ahead. It was decided that it will, and at 8:20am we were gathered in from of the new Jangyu apartment in the spitting rain in a more modest +9° awaiting one of the most diverse motorcycle rides in history. With two Swiss pussies reneging on account of the cold and rain (sorry guys, but why the fuck do you think it is called the Ice Breaker’s Run) and Dear Leader Sean away on a Turkey Eating And Tequila Swilling emergency (hereafter referred to as TEATS) it was up to The Alabama Iceman, Bonzo the Aussie, Mustachioed Pat and Jose the Canadian/Mexican (Pronounced Hose-eh) to undertake the Run on their own scoots, respectively a 1400cc Intruder, 750cc Magna, 125cc Magma and a Hyosung Scooter. A more diverse bunch of bikers in such crap weather in such a weird land has, I am sure, never a forehand been assembled.


It was a marvelous trip to a very small island Gadeok-do (가덕도) in which the following events took place:

Magna never got out of third gear.
Intruder never got into third gear.
Car (Carrying Parky and Stacey) was endowed with brand new racing stripes whilst being driven on a walled and cliff-ed goat track.
Clouds and rain left after 11:00am followed by amazing sunshine.
Small Island was given a (warmly welcomed) lesson on Weiguks On Motorcycles.
The destruction of 1 extremely large and extremely delicious chicken along with a few beers.
My wife was refused entry onto the ferry on the grounds of being too sexy.
A FANTASTIC day was had by all.


It really was a magnificent day. But when you break it down into points it sounds a bit crap. And if you are in the extremely large section of the population that weren’t on the ride and simultaneously belong to the only slightly smaller part of the population that have never been on a WOMBAT ride you will never understand how much fun it was. We had a great day.


We topped it off with a massive house warming. Not a massive house warming by Australian standards (hardly an average dinner party by Aussie thought process) but 20-odd people in a Corean house at the same time was new, at least for us, (we had had 16 people in our house warming in Gangneung) a record. We drank wine, ate smoked duck and generally rolled through the magnificent night after a magnificent day.

(I am aware that no-one likes to read a super-positive blog, but the day was great, so to those that are wishing for something more negativeslashreadworthy; Sorry to disappoint you)